The Celebration (Bidar Days)

The Celebration
I had joined the Engineering college and was in the first year. Since the college had come up recently and was only three years old so the infrastructure was not complete as a result of which we did not have a permanent hostel so adhoc arrangements were made by converting the rooms of the Gurudwara building on the first, second and third floors for our hostel and the ground floor for the tourists who would visit the historic Gurudwara. The only disadvantage was that it was too far from the college, about 5 Kms so we had to pedal a lot on our cycles everyday as the college was on the other side of the city. We had to cross the complete town and would thus pass daily from the cross section of the complete city. We used to come back for lunch in the afternoon and again had to go back to the college after that for the evening classes thereby making a travel of 20Kms everyday. Due to this problem and restriction of freedom due to stringent rules of the college most of the students were staying in the hired accommodation outside in the city near the college area where they would stay together in groups and would go dutch in sharing the expenditure incurred. This would involve other hassles of maintaining a mess and other administrative problems which they would face. However if chosen to stay in the hostel there would be no other problem except for the distance and mostly all the good boys had chosen to stay in the hostel due to security aspect and I was also considered to be one of them. As a result of this in the hostel most of the students were from first year only who were well protected from ragging also. I however was among the ones who stayed in hostel for all the four years except for some time in which I tried venturing out but found it more a headache than the comfort so fell back to hostel after giving a try.
The rules of the hostel were strict. The hostel used to be locked at 2130 h sharp and all the gates (Grills) in the staircases were locked with chains so that nobody was able to go out or climb the stairs up inside. Although it was good from the security point of view but we missed going out for the night shows from 2100 to 2400h in the theatres which our counterparts staying outside would enjoy. Bidar had a beautiful climate through out the year, neither too hot nor too cold with pleasant evenings so our hearts tempted to go for the late night outings along with other friends staying outside but this rule had made our task difficult. As rightly said “Where there is a will there is a way”. A permanent solution was thus thought of after doing adequate brainstorming sessions wherein each part of the problem was discussed and gone into details threadbare amongst all the interested members of the gang who were late night movie watchers.
To go out there were two hurdles, the first one was to outsmart the Asst Warden, Mr Krishna who would mark our attendance by going to each and every room at 2100h in the night after seeing the student and then would lock the gates for finally handing over the register and the keys to the warden staying in the opposite building. The second problem was that if we managed to somehow sneak out quietly after marking the attendance for the movie then by the time we would return the doors to enter the hostel would be closed for us thereby not allowing us to reach the stairs to climb for finally landing in our rooms. So a way out was to be found to both these problems for venturing out late in the night.
For the first case an easy solution was found after some days as the Assistant Warden had started to mark the attendance in haste just by having a glance while peeping into the room with half door open and after getting satisfied with the fact that the two room partners are studying/sleeping he would not disturb them and go away quietly marking them present. Later he became quiet friendly also and would mark the attendance on faith basis even if someone told him that his buddy has gone to the bathroom which had become a common technique. But this was not a sure shot method as at times in case of a doubt he would wait for him to return and chat with the other roommate meanwhile so the credibility of the buddy giving reasons for his partner’s absence would be in jeopardy. There was one more way, a better option with lesser risk and that was a proxy person would lie down on the bed with a bed sheet covering his face in a side roll position which the other roommate would apprise the Asst Warden by making a gesture with his hand pointing towards his sleeping buddy indicating that he is asleep and is not to be disturbed since has to wake up late in the night for studying till morning and believing this the Asst Warden would quietly mark his attendance and go to the next room. And after he would leave the proxy person would quietly get up and walk to his own room.
The second part was complex as it involved lot of action and some courage too. One solution which was already in practice was the use of a duplicate key which some of the hostellers had managed by taking a print of the original key on a soap ( in which they managed to get hold of the original key on the pretext of handing it over to the warden after taking it from the Asst Warden casually just to help him out). The soap was then taken to the local key repairer who then made a replica of it from that soap print and this key served the purpose. But when the authorities came to know of it after sometime they changed the lock and the things were back to square one once again. The other option comprised of scaling the RCC Jalli wall of the mumty of the stairs, reach the terrace of the top floor of a four storeyed building and then come down to the third or the second storey through the stairs as the upper gates were open at all the times. This was however risky due to the weak and loose RCC jallis.
It was a nice evening on 11th of November 1984 the day we finished our unit tests and everyone had nice evening plans for the fun and frolic. The plan comprised of having a get together at a friends place, go to the market, have snacks at the favourite place,‘The Motimahal’, have dinner in a nice hotel, do some gupshup(Gossip) and then finally go for watching a nice, Moustapha Akkad’s, Rs 50 Crore magnum movie “Omar Mukhtar-Lion of the Desert.” The plan was very good, the company was also very good, there was no transportation problem as the cycles were not shut in side the gates, the time was also very good as there was no load of studies that day but the only problem was how do we get out and then in, as the plans were for the night. I was so motivated that that day that I decided to go with one of my friend, Harpal. He agreed to take the risk and said in Punjabi,”
“Ajj pakka challangay jo bhi pangaa hoyega dekhayya jaaiga” (Today we will go for sure irrespective of whatever happens)
So the plans were made and its execution commenced accordingly. At the attendance time around 2045h, I took two pillows and placed them in a standing position longitudinally adjacent to each other in a single line with one of my trouser at the place where head rests while sleeping and covered everything with a bedsheet which gave an appearance that somebody is sleeping under the bedsheet. I told my roompartner, Dhillon to only point with his finger at the bedsheet when the Asst Warden asks for me while carrying out his studies sitting on his study table and also not to conversate with him by showing himself deeply involved in his studies with only the table lamp on and other lights switched off so that he gets a feeling not to probe the matter further as one is concentrated in his studies while the other one is sleeping. I avoided the proxy formula as I had to unnecessarily waste someone else’s time and take unnecessary favour from someone at odd time since I would also be under his obligation for his future plans as he would call me when required in return and secondly this method was better as involved lesser number of people concerned on need to know basis only. For getting inside on our return I briefed Dhillon what all is to be done when I signal him after he hears the noise of a small stone hitting the door which I will throw after my return from the movie.
With all plans set I then seeing the appropriate moment quietly sneaked out of the hostel, took my cycle and was off for the fun. Similarly Harpal also managed and we both met at the appointed rendevous from where we proceeded ahead together. We first went to our friend’s house from where the gang collected together and went to our favourite restaurant for snacks and tea, had a lot of gossip and shared jokes along with some tea and sweets. Thereafter ventured out in the city shops for doing the necessary work and finally into a good Hotel named ,’Barid Shahi’ which was considered to be the best at that time. It was great going to a such a hotel with friends for the first time where 2 star treatment was given. Everyone of us were impressed when the steward pushed the chair close to our knee backs to help sit down comfortably with ease which made everyone feel important as being a student it was a great feeling. When the menu card was given everyone’s eyes first glanced the rates of the items instead on the food items as the amounts mentioned were enormous with everyone having a limited amount in the pockets which were to cater for so much desires to be fulfilled that day . Then a discussion on fixing the menu took about 10 minutes for catering everyone’s taste. After the finalisation of the menu the discussion on the various people who were having dinner started, dreams of future plans of joining the various jobs after completion of this engineering course was the next topic which was discussed at bay. The topic then suddenly shifted to the beautiful maidens sitting far off from our table in which everyone gave their expert comments as if were the judges of the jury of Miss world contest. I still remember how the discussion on the long nose of that girl carried out for long. She had a curved and long beautiful nose popularly called as the ‘Roman nose’ in oxford dictionary. While this discussion was going on our order was ready and then came the sweet smell of Butter Chicken, the tomato cheese and the mutter (peas)mushroom with raita(A Curd dish) and Naan(bread). I could see the tongues slurping with gulping of uncontrolled saliva down the throat. Everyone was finding it difficult to stop himself from taking first but out of shyness with great difficulty one of us said ,
”Come on everyone start please!”.
As soon as these words were was out of mouth three hands approached the butter chicken bowl on the table simultaneously followed by saying Sorry to exhibit mannerism in front of everyone to cover up their involuntary action. I then took initiative and quietly placed the chicken breast piece in my plate and pushed the serving dish ahead to the next person. Once this started everything was normalised and soon everyone was seen enjoying the tasty food. Nobody talked much while eating as were engrossed thoroughly in satisfying their taste buds. I could see so much of satisfaction on the faces amongst us that day that wish to see such days come time and again. The first experience is always a memorable one. At the time of desert it was decided that it will be taken at the ice cream point since it would save everyone financially as well as the enjoyment at that point would be more as it was a point where the beautiful faces could also be seen which would add up to the desert taste. The waiter was thus asked to bring the bill. When it was paid he looked at all of us and saluted. No one understood what was the reason, he again saluted and soon one of us understood he wanted some more tip so in order to avoid giving further tip no one cared to look at him. When the waiter saluted for the third time one of us responded him by saluting him back with a smile and shook hands with him saying Thanks and that was the extra tip for him. We then left the Hotel.
Now we were in front of the ice cream parlour with our tongues slurping the ice cream in those beautiful cones and while our eyes were busy watching the Bidar beauties and mouth sharing oooh! and aaaaaah! with each other. Thereafter we proceeded for the theatre to see the movie. It was really a great fun watching it as the movie hall was less crowded (being an English movie) as the people there were mostly kannadijas (From Karnataka) who were less interested in English movies so the major chunk of the crowd comprised of students. The movie was pretty long of three and a half hours and it was 0100h when we came out of the theatre. Everyone proceeded to their destinations and so did I and Harpal towards our hostel. After we were halfway to our hostel Harpal asked me,
“How do we get in now?”.
I told him that I had already tied up everything and he should be ready to stretch his arm muscles now. As we reached the hostel there was total quietness except the sound of crickets and some lights in the rooms were on since some of the students were studying. The grills were locked as expected. The chowkidaar was awake so we quietly entered the cycle stand and locked our cycles while he was on his round on the other side. We reached just below our room which was on the first floor. I picked up a small stone and threw it to hit my room No 63 and Thak! came the voice after it hit the door. My aim was correct . Hearing the voice my roommate, Dhillon came out as planned to see us and we gave him a confirmatory gesture of our arrival and asked him to go ahead as per the plan.
It was dark but there was enough moonlight to make things visible from a distance of about 100 m. The chowkidaar was on the other side and we were inside the enclosed area of the hostel where he could not see us. Dhillon immediately went inside the room and came back with a turban, one end of which he tied to the pillar of the building and the other end was thrown down towards us to climb it. The height was not much, about 4m only but required strength worth capable of doing just five chin ups and after that one could creep on to the first floor by crossing the parapet wall. Since it was my plan so I was to take initiative of giving the demonstration to Harpal and climb up first. I held the turban tightly and hung on it putting all my weight on to it trying to pull myself up by folding my arm in order to climb up with the help of the turban using it as a rope but as I took the leap chrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! came the voice and the turban started to tear off. I as a result landed down smoothly. Thank God! It was on the first leap and not the second or the third otherwise I would have fallen flat from a height. Dhillon shouted in low voice
“Oh! meri pag part gayee”(Oh my turban has been torn)
Harpal said to me,
“Teri plan taa fail ho gayee”(Your plan has failed)
Suddenly we heard someone coming so all of us ran to take cover behind the available objects nearest to us. I and Harpal went and took cover behind the pillar and Dhillon ducked down behind the parapet wall pulling his torn turban up and immediately spread it on the wall as he could not untie the knot tied to the pillar of the building so fast, thereby giving the appearance that the turban has been spread to dry up after washing to the chowkidaar. The chowkidaar came for the routine round had a look at the area and went away giving us a sigh of relief. I and Harpal came out again but Dhillon was not seen and my room door was also closed. Harpal told me that he must be angry as his turban has been torn and would not come out now. I then took another stone and again knocked the door by throwing a stone on it after which he came out. Harpal told him,
“Yaar sorry do not worry about the turban we’ll get you a new one let us try with two turbans twisted with each other once more”
Dhillon did not agree and said,
“Nahin oh gal nahin hai par is tarah dig kay satt lag jayegi”(It is not that but this way you’ll fall and get hurt”
I told him then,
“ what can we do now there is no way out?”
He suggested us to go to some friend’s house and sleep there for the night and return in the morning. We did not favour his suggestion and said that it was not good to disturb someone at the odd hour and that also after going all the way near the college.
I requested him to agree once more to my modified plan which I have formulated just now and if it fails we would go away as suggested by him listening which he with great difficulty agreed and said in punjabi,
“Das hoon ki karna hai?”(Ok tell what is to be done now?)
Meanwhile Harpal silently was whispering that if the modified plan also fails we will have to shoo away our Goodnight sleep as it would be day by the time we arrange something. This irritated me so I told Harpal to just keep quiet and not interfere in what I am briefing to Dhillon as the situation was getting grimmer since there was very less time as if Dhillon’s mind changed then it would definitely spoil our night.
I very softly told Dhillon to go to the room and get my three turbans kept in the almirah and come back. He did what I had told him. I then requested him to interweave them the way a girl with long hair makes her pony tail or sikh children do to make up their hair(Joori). Dhillon got slightly angry and said’
“Hoon addi raat noon mere to goot banwaingaa?(Now in the middle of the night you will make me do a ponytail)
I said politely,
“Yaar dosti vich kadi kadi karna paindaa hai so please don’t mind.(Dear in friendship at times you have to do it at times so please don’t mind)
So Dhillon started to make a long pony tail by joining and interlocking the three long turbans with each other as a girl makes her ponytail (Which generally all the Sikhs having long hair are able to do it since they adopt this style from their mother in their childhood days) and with in next 10 minutes the ‘The turban ponytail’ which was our scaling rope was ready . The same was then tied to the pillar and the other end thrown down to us. I wasted no time and immediately held it tight and took just three leaps and was up in 10 seconds and so was Harpal within the same time . The rope made had enough strength to bear even the weight of both of us together and finally my modified plan worked. The turbans were immediately pulled up and we were in our rooms in next few seconds unwinding the three turbans and discussing with Dhillon what had happened when the Asst Warden had come.
“Everything went as planned,” said Dhillon smilingly facing both of us.
Harpal still started the joke session in the middle of the night after which dhillon said,
“Chalo hoon so jaoo “ and shooed Harpal to his room who smilingly went saying Goodnight and sweet dreams to both of us.
I asked Dhillon how was the night ?
He replied,
“Main tey apna fluid Mechanics da ik chapter khatam kar liya hai” (I have finished one chapter of Fluid Mechanics)
“That’s like a very good boy,” I said to him and further added
“Appan vee ajj matargashti daa nava chapter kar kay aayein haan”( Today we also had finished one new chapter of having fun)
and went to sleep as the celebration was over for the day.

Encashing the Fuel

Encashing the fuel
It was 1995 and I was posted in a remote location in Arunachal Pradesh in Border roads and had to travel a lot as it meant looking after the maintenance of complete road for stretches of hundreds of kms with which I would get fed up of travelling if the route was monotonous but fortunately the area was hilly hence provided enough oppurtunity to watch the beautiful landscape enroute. The routes were treacherous comprising of twists and turns, deep ditches, steep climbs, sharp turns and demanded good drivers to negotiate those curves safely. The driver’s task was also cumbersome as they had to drive for hours together. Due to the nature of the task they performed they gained lot of experience in driving and were real professional drivers, you can say the best among the forces. They relied on the detachments which were located at an average after every 200kms from where they could get their administrative back up and could rest a while. The detachment basically involved about 5 to 6 men.
The drivers were thus dependent on their own and thus had to have some cash with them for meeting any breakdowns enroute which they could make use of in repairing their vehicle in case of tyre punctures and spend some on refreshments. The pay of these drivers was mostly sent at their homes whenever they used to get it so they were left with little money in their pockets. Unofficially most of the long route drivers would adopt the malpractice of selling petrol/diesel to the local shops which they had tied up while following those routes. Inspite of repeated endeavours of officers to curb such practices they used to outwit them so smartly that a new person would not even come to know what they did when and where. They would turn their gear into neutral on the slopes and make the vehicle move under gravity save a few kms and sell that much amount of diesel and pocket the money. In fact they used to keep their vehicle so fit and never allowed it to go off road as they had to deposit it into the workshops of the department which would take a lot of time especially if a particular part was not available resulting into the driver sitting idle for that much. Hence they would never let their vehicle go off road even if they had to spend the money from their own pockets. This in fact favoured the department in one way that the work never suffered due to delay caused in transportation of resources.
Once I was to go for a road inspection about 150 kms away and return back the same day so I started early in the morning. I was just a novice in the organisation being a youngster. I carried all the necessary stuff like my kit ,clothes ,water bottle and lunch so that just in case if I get late or stuck I would stay in the detachment and return the next day. We started off at 0800h in the morning and the initial journey was nice and I passed my time looking outside to the beautiful landscape . The jeep was in a good shape so I patted the driver for maintaining it well. He was happy and told me that at times after a long run it gives a small trouble also but he will manage it and there is nothing to worry. We travelled through the hills, forests, waterstreams, kutcha roads, bridges, causeways and I kept noting down the stretches which required its maintenance since that was my job. There was nothing on the way except a few small tea shops and general merchandise shop combined into one from where the drivers could buy the necessary stuff and refreshments. I switched on my walkman after sometime to listen to the music as the stretch had become straight now which turned out to be boring. We carried on like this for about 2 hours and then I asked him to stop somewhere as we would rest a while and have a cup of tea. Seeing my mood he also after some time stopped near a shop and we both got down to have a cup of tea. I sat on that charpoy of jute and lied down for a while to stretch my back. Meanwhile the shopkeeper brought tea and we both had it. After refreshing ourselves we started off again . As we started and were barely about 20 m away from the tea shop the jeep seemed to develop some trouble and it stopped. The driver first made two three ignitions but would turn the key off when the jeep used to start which I did not understand why he was doing that but I kept quiet as he had told me in the beginning that it develops some trouble after travelling a considerable distance so I thought it is none of my concern and let the driver do as he feels it fit. The driver switched off the vehicle and said to me that he would require to open the bonnet and check the engine tuning. I nodded and told him to go ahead to which he replied,
“Sir if you could come to the drivers seat, hold the accelerator and the brake for some time I will check the engine in running condition and rectify the defect.”
I agreed gladly to help the poor chap and at once shifted to the driver’s seat and sat on the steering with my right foot on the accelerator and the left on the brake keeping the gear in neutral. He went ahead and opened the bonnet and said to increase and decrease the accelerator rate slowly and keep doing it so that the engine does not stop and I kept doing the same with earphones of the walkman in my ears. After about 10 to 15 minutes he asked me to stop the accelerator process , closed the bonnet and came back to the drivers seat. I also got up and shifted back to the co drivers seat and thereafter we resumed our journey. On the way he switched off the engine while on the slope and carried on in the neutral gear. I asked him why he is doing this to which he replied
“Sahib jeep garam na ho isliye kuch der isko neutral me chala rahan hoon . Issse engine ko bhi rest mil jayega”(Sir to keep the engine of the jeep cool and to give it some rest I am taking the jeep in neutral position)
I agreed to his convincing statement as he appeared to be very honest and sincere in looking after his vehicle and I thus kept quiet . I carried on noting the details of my work and in the evening we reached back safely in time. It was already dark, I took bath and came to our small Mess for the dinner where I met my colleague friend Kashmir Singh who was a mechanical engineer in the workshop adjacent to our detachment and while having dinner had discussion about the problem I faced on the way regarding the jeep. He surprisingly told me that the jeep was in A1 condition and there was no fault in it since he had himself checked it a few days back. He then asked me in detail and I narrated the whole story to him word by word and minute by minute as the events occured. He then burst out laughing and said in punjabi,
”Tainoon vee uh bana gaya”.( He has befooled you too)
He told me that the driver had done the same act with him also which he learnt it later. I came to know the story behind the scene and was really astonished how foolish it was on my part to believe him or how smart was it on his part to befool me. You will not believe that everything was planned right from the time I started my journey till I returned. While on the way after having a cup of tea when we had resumed our journey the jeep had no problem of starting but was made to appear that it had which I had also sensed it for a while but overlooked it since was more interested in listening to the music at that time. What he actually did was that he lifted the bonnet not to rectify any defect but just to block my vision so that I am not able to see what he is doing. And you know what he had done during that time when he had told me to keep my foot on the accelerator pedal while sitting on the driver’s seat holding the steering, he quietly went back took out a rubber pipe and a can kept in the rear side of the jeep, opened the fuel filling slot of the fuel tank from where one fills the petrol from the petrol pump, inserted the rubber pipe into it, sucked the petrol with siphonic action from his mouth, filled the can to its brim, closed the slot, went to the shopkeeper from where we had tea which was just near the jeep sold that petrol to him, filled up his purse with cash and quietly came back to the bonnet. After that he asked me to press the accelerator pedal two three times , closed the bonnet and after coming back to his seat resumed the remaining journey. Incredible isn’t it? But true. He was an expert in it and had been doing it since long.
I went and checked the car diary immediately after this so that I could catch him based on the fuel consumed and mileage covered but that was perfect rather it was 2 litres surplus . It was all thanks to the slope which he had covered in neutral. I then just laughed it out as could do nothing. He was safe and could not be charged. This is what is called smartness which I realised it that day.

The Hidden File
I was posted to a place in the field somewhere in J & K where once I met an officer who was wearing lot of ribbons indicating that he had served in field area for quiet a long time and is having a lot of field experience behind him which generally only very senior officers have. But this officer was comparatively quiet young and his field service did not seem to appear commensurate with his age. So I asked him how he has managed these many ribbons to which he replied,
” Managed ? I feel pity on myself and have a feeling that I am being punished for no fault of mine as all my life I have been loitering around in the field area only. I do not have any senior person known to me nor does the HQ listen to me inspite of my writing so many letters to them to post me to some peace station.”
Hearing this I told him,
”There must be some communication gap somewhere in between due to which you are suffering and to sort this out you must go to the posting department of your HQ in Delhi”
He agreed and decided to go on leave to his head office at Delhi. When he went there and met the concerned officer dealing with the postings he was told that his file is not traceable and he should wait and rather help them trace it with them as there was shortage of manpower there. He saw that all the files were scattered here and there, some were lying in the almirah, some were out of it covered with the dust, while some lay on the floor packed with the small ropes etc. So the search for the file began and they all were on it to locate it . The search carried out for 2 hours and finally he found the file which was being used as a lid of an earthern pot (Ghara) covered with dust and at the corner of the room. He immediately cleaned it by hitting it with his other hand two three times and handed over the same to the posting officer. The posting officer after opening the file saw that all his life he had never been posted to a peace station so he felt pity on the officer who had come with the grievance and asked him,
”Which station would you like to be get posted to just tell me and your job is done?”
The officer was overjoyed to hear this so he requested for posting him to Delhi and was very thankful to him for being so kind and considerate in giving him his choice station. While departing after getting his problem solved he said to the posting officer,
“Sir I would be extremely thankful to you if you could do me one more favour”
The posting officer said,” Yes ! Yes! Anything else by which I’ll be able to help you”
The officer who had come with the grievance said,
“Sir if you could kindly replace this file to its original position from where it was picked up ?”
The posting officer laughed and said,
“Done”
And the file took its position back for being status quo.
The officer is still at Delhi since a long time enjoying his peace tenure.

Ek choti si dog story (A small dog story)
The Lost Letter

There was once a discussion going on between some street and pet dogs over a conference in one corner of a street in which dogs from far off areas had come to participate as the matter was very important for them. When the minutes were read by their secretary a point came up that why they are not respected like other animals like the Cow, Tiger etc inspite of them exhibiting their loyalty, sincerity and hardwork towards the mankind which is unquestionable even by the humans. Why their name is misused especially in films and considered as an abuse? Whereas the cow is worshipped like a mother, the Tiger is considered to be a national animal and photographed with the Goddesses and so on. The dogs have provided utmost security even at the peril of their life, done such a great jobs of saving many human lives by locating mines and explosives, helped man in catching the deadliest of the killers, entertained humans and shown highest degree of faithfulness which the humans can not even dream of and what not.

The case study was done deliberately by them and after enough brainstorming sessions and necessary lectures / debates over the issue it came to light that that their case has never been projected properly by them due to frequent inter rivalry amongst them where they do not allow any of their fellow colleague to flourish in their areas. Hence their immediate higher authorities had not put up their statement of case to God for his perusal due to which they are suffering. Even if some efforts were made by their predecessors in the past most of the time the case was rejected on flimsy grounds like grammatical mistakes, delay by the clerical staff, the concerned officer being on leave, adapting of procrastination attitude by the mediators who also asked for undue favours from them (which they refused due to their inborn quality of honesty and faithfulness) in processing the matter forward. But in case of animals like that of a cow the matter was expedited with no reiterations as she gave milk for free to the intermediate brokers and greased their palms with her milk products at the right time, got her work done within no time and thus got a respectable place in the society of mankind.
The Tiger also got his case expedited due to his power of paws, claws and fear over the others to which no one had courage to dare stop his statement of case for getting the sanction of the competent authority. Every one up the channel quietly pushed it through smoothly since nobody wanted to get involved in a fight with the powerful beast as they were not confident of the police protection of the Hyena force who in fact were in close nexus with the Tiger since they hunted and shared their prey together.
At the end of the conference it was thus summarised that a letter of recommendation would be drafted by them and after due consensus of every member it would be forwarded through the proper channel to God for granting them a respectable status on this planet. The letter was then accordingly made by them taking the help of a chimpanzee friend who was a clerk by profession and was obliged by the Dog society by lending 4 dogs for the security of his banana tree for a week .
After the letter was drafted and put up for the consensus a contentious point surfaced up which lead to a heated argument. The bull dogs wanted a greater share of respect as they were stronger to which the Alsatian strongly objected to, raising their tails as they claimed themselves to be more handsome and smarter. Seeing this the Doberman rose up and interrupted that they do all the work of catching the thieves which is the most difficult part for which they have even sacrificed their tails also hence they should be considered for grant of the maximum benefit . Seeing the situation the other high quality breeds also stood up and soon their was lot of barking. Then their leader, a common street dog stood up and said that they will give their views one by one after all of them sit in a single line and mark this area by pissing on that single tree so that everyone feels that this is their area and thus are equal in status to each other only after which their views will be considered otherwise unnecessary barking by everyone would lead to nowhere and he also emphasised that the standards of respect and status will be kept same for all right from a normal street dog to the Great Dane. They also decided that they will not fight like humans on the basis of caste, creed, colour, sex or status as it does not befit a dog to discuss such things and their credibility should be thus maintained at all costs whether they win this battle or not. Hearing this everyone kept quiet sat in a single line and agreed to their leader with their ears down and tails in.

The letter was then finalised, approved , signed by their Society president with the signatures of four witnesses and sealed in an envelope. This was to be taken to the God through his assistant who would in turn handover this to his PA (Personal Assistant) and finally would be put up to him on his table so as to follow the proper procedure. The dogs got the information that one of the assistants taking care of their area, the fox was nearby so the journey started and the group of dogs went to him to hand over the letter but when they reached they saw that the fox was involved in a scandal with lot of vixen around him with whom he was relaxing.
“How can such a person of low morals be an assistant to God”, the dogs said to each other. He was a fake. So the dogs started their journey back in search of a true assistant. As soon as the fox came to know of this he felt very bad as had planned a lot of services to be taken from these dogs in lieu of their letter work which fizzled out of his hand. So out of frustration he went and informed the Tiger that his days are numbered as the dogs are going to gain more respect than him very soon as soon as their letter reaches the Almighty. Hearing this the tiger got furious and ran after the dogs to get hold of that letter. When the dogs saw him chasing they immediately understood the cause, got together and planned to hide the letter. They could not find any other place to hide it so one of them shoved the letter into back side of his colleague and they continued running again.
But soon they were caught and when the tiger asked them about the letter they replied that they do not have any such letter. They also informed him that they had come to meet him to take his advice on important matters but this fox was asking for 2 kg of milk and 5 kg of meat out of which 3 kg of meat was for the tiger which they did not have so were helpless. They also added that the fox had frightened them on the pretext that the Tiger would kill them if they go empty handed to him hence fearing this they took off to their heels. Hearing this the tiger slapped the fox and allowed them to go thereby apologising for his act of doubting and pouncing on them.
The dogs somehow after double crossing the fox came back but when they discussed about the letter they forgot the dog on whose back side they had hidden the letter and till this day they are still searching for that letter by sniffing behind each other. If you notice carefully whenever they meet someone from their community the first thing they search for is that letter for it is a matter concerning their status and self respect in the society. Humans understand this and thus they are their friends. Humans also can hardly do anything till such time the letter is found as nothing moves without recommendations in this world and especially this country which you all would agree with me.
The dog who narrated this story to me last week also asked me at the end,
“Does this happen like this in your society also ?”
I kept mum for a moment and said,
”We’ll discuss it some other time as I have to go for attending a conference now.”

Off the ground for 60 seconds

Off the ground for 60 seconds
I had gone for some work to a place in UP called Kanpur. If you rate Chandigarh as No1 well planned and the most well maintained city in India you can rate this city as no 1 from the bottom of the most well planned cities list in India. The first curse of the city rather the state is the population which makes it difficult for the administration to control the connected problems related with it. The streets are narrow, filthy, unplanned, the traffic sense is near zero, the crowd ,the heat, the dust, the noise all above the safe limits of an acceptable standard but the show is still going on. One place where you can breathe properly is the cantonment and the second in the IIT campus apart from few green manned patches.
I was to board a train from the railway station at Kanpur for Allahabad, a short distance of about 4 hours in a normal train. I got into a long queue for getting the ticket after my friend left me at the station as I did not have a reserved ticket since the distance was short and there was no fixed plan. The rush was very heavy due to ‘Magh Mela’ celebrations at Allahabad so all the trains were going packed. I somehow managed to get a ticket and proceeded to platform No 2 where the train was to arrive after about half an hour.
To proceed to platform no 2, I had to cross over a bridge which connected it to PF no 1. The stairs were wide about 5m in width and the rise and tread of the steps was also comfortable with a strong railing on both the sides of the steps for the old and weak to hold it and pull themselves up. The young lot was generally in the centre with women behind their men to take cover and follow their footsteps as some were holding child in their laps. The men were holding the luggage on their heads as were mostly from the labour class category which formed the major chunk of the crowd. Some children were seen holding the fingers of their parents and quietly climbing the stairs in the crowd. The rush was more than expected. Suddenly there was an announcement that some other train would also arrive nearly at the same time on platform no 3 (which was adjacent side of PF no2) instead of PF no 4. As soon as this was announced there was a sudden shift of the rush and everyone from the PF no 4 started to arrive at PF no3 through the stairs and soon there was no space left even to walk.
Soon the crush gathered so much momentum that it was becoming difficult to even stand leave apart walking. I somehow reached the top of the bridge and started to move towards the PF no 2. As I reached the steps to get down to PF no2 to ensure safety of my belongings on my body I kept one hand on my purse on my rear trouser pocket while with the other I was holding a small bag lifted up in the air in front of my face with my forearm tightly pressed against my mobile kept in the front shirt pocket. I got stuck in the mass and was not able to proceed further. I tried to make my way through but could not budge an inch. Soon I saw some of the kids started yelling, the ladies had even started screaming for space. The situation was getting worse every second and I soon realised that if this continues it may lead to a stampede in which many would be injured. The first thing which came to my mind was to reach to a safe location as I was caught in the middle of the crowd where I could barely move and for getting some support just in case the situation worsens further and lead to a stampede. The only safe place which I could notice nearest to me was a pillar at the starting point of the descending stairs at the edge of the steps from where they started. I tried my level best to reach there but was unable to move since was tightly packed by the human bodies from all the sides although the pillar was just about 3m away from me.
For immediate relief my plan was to reach the pillar, holding it climb the railing and stand on it as it would give me air to breathe and be out from the crush as I expected a stampede in next few minutes. I feared that if somebody fell on the ground it would be very difficult for him to get up and would soon be crushed under the crowd. Fearing this I then applied all my strength and took a step forward towards the pillar forcing my way through and with great difficulty managed to take my right foot up off the ground to advance towards the pillar but when I tried to put it down to land on the ground for taking my next step of lifting the left foot I failed to succeed as there was no place to land my right foot down on the floor so I was literally standing on one leg only.
Now all the weight of my body was on my left leg and I stood in that awkward position for quiet a long time as a result of which my left ankle started paining like hell. My backbone also started paining soon since I was unable to stand straight. As I was trying to adjust myself to a comfortable position a rush wave came from the rear which pushed the complete group standing next to me towards the steps as a result I was also pushed ahead which detached my left foot also from the ground. Now I was in the air with both my feet off the ground with my body weight being taken care of by the horizontal forces of the human bodies who were tightly pressed against me in the crush to finally transfer it to the floor through their legs and this frightened me as I did not have any control over my body anymore. My movements were now with the disturbance wave. I swayed and floated like this for 60 seconds like a top of the eucalyptus tree in strong winds , the moment which I cannot forget all my life. I only desired if I could just get an opportunity to touch the ground for taking a push with full force on the ground and dive on to the pillar to get out of this situation since I was losing confidence every second to bail out unscratched. The matter was getting serious since there were chances of my falling down flat on the ground along with the rush wave which would have led to serious injuries as I would not have got a chance to get up so easily.
All of a sudden I saw the movement of the crowd as one of the trains arrived at the station on PF no 3 which diverted the rush of the waiting passengers to board the train and as a result created some space allowing me to land on floor after I immediately rushed towards the pillar and climbed the railing to save myself . I thanked my stars for helping me reach a safe position and now the whole crowd was under my vision with me standing like a policeman on an island watching everyone. In order to ease the situation I then shouted at the people who had got down from the train and were advancing towards the bridge to stop them from coming up the stairs as this would block the passage of passengers who were going down the bridge.
Suddenly I saw three people falling down at the bottom of the bridge and everyone rolled over them, the stampede had started and about 15 to 20 of them rolled over each other including ladies and kids. Some somersaulted, some side rolled while some fell flat. The area was filled with shrieks and screams and it appeared that it is the end of those fallen.The situation was however brought under control as the policemen took charge of the situation with their Lathis (big sticks) with which the newcomers to the crowd diverted their direction of move towards the crowd and this avoided making the situation complex. The policemen however lost their caps in action and some even rolled in the crowd who got up abusing everyone around.
When the train left the station the remaining crowd was diverted to other direction to reach the exit from the railway tracks since the bridge was already packed. The injured were helped by their companions and fortunately no one was hurt badly. Had the situation not brought under control I am sure there would have been several casualties. The situation eased of slowly and soon there was movement seen on the bridge after which I got down from the railing and went to board the train which arrived in next few minutes.
Incidentally I found that the front and the rear portion of the platform were not crowded as the concentration of the rush was restricted to the centre of the platform only. It was a fit case for study of poor management of the staff and nothing else. First of all had the rush been diverted to other platform by the management this situation could have been avoided and secondly there should have been some guides from the ‘May I help you’ booth to help the public evenly distribute the rush all along the platform which would have not allowed them to concentrate at one place on the platform. Anyway it was a lucky day that everyone reached their respective destinations safely. Lesson learnt for the day was
Firstly avoid the rush at any cost.
If you are too late to decide and are into it then,
Whenever you feel that the rush of the crowd may increase and there is no way out immediately start moving away from the centre of the crowd to a side and climb up some high place.

Burger of 10 million

A chicken Burger of Rs 1 Crore only

It was a pleasant evening in the market of Sector 17 of the city beautiful: Chandigarh, in Punjab in Northern India. The place is known for its cleanliness and considered to be one of the best places in India. People come here in the evenings for a stroll , do shopping in various shops and refresh after a days work. The market contains every thing for the rich and the middle class. There are huge showrooms and the hawkers too including balloon seller for the kids who carries a long bamboo with lot many coloured balloons tied to it on his shoulders.
I along with my friend, Harish were also having a stroll on that summer evening with the pleasant wind blowing and freshness in the air. We went from place to place, shop to shop, visited the Reebok, the Woodlands, the Macdonalds, had those spicy sweet corns, the delicious juice and then stood at a corner of the market watching beautiful people of the city beautiful. As we were standing a lottery seller came to us and stood smiling in front of us prompting us to buy a lottery ticket. He said smilingly,
”Sahib lottery le low kismet chamak jayegi” (Sir buy a lottery ticket your luck will shine)
Harish replied,
”Hamari to aaj tak tambola mein kismet nahin chamki isme kya chamkegi”(Our luck did not turn up in the game of Tambola how can it shine in a lottery)
The lottery seller said,
”Sahib naseeb ka kuch bhi nahin pata hota kab, kahan, kaise aur kiska chamak jaaye koi nahin keh sakta”(Sir no one can predict luck. when, where, how and whose luck shines no one can say)
I asked him the cost of the ticket to which he replied that it is for Rs 100/-only. I then asked him what money will we get if we win the ticket as it was written in big bold letters ‘RUPEES TWO CRORES’ and followed by very small letters “worth of prizes”. When we both saw the lottery ticket closely it was written ‘First prize Rs 1 crore’.
After this the discussion between me and Harish started as follows which the lottery seller was hearing with full attention.
Harish said that out of two crores we will be getting only Rs 1 crore since it is a marketing gimmick to attract the customers by displaying Rs 2 crores on the ticket so there is a clear loss of Rs 1 crore straightaway. I agreed and continued the discussion that out of Rs 1 crore left and after paying 30% as income tax we will be left with only Rs 70 lacs. For collecting this amount we have to hire a security group for bringing it from Assam where the lottery ticket will have to be claimed or by a bank draft in which the bank will charge 2 % commission so 1.4 lacs are gone further with remaining amount as 68.6 lacs. Seeing this money our children will stop studying and would plan their entrance to medical college based on capitation fee which is 30 lacs for the medical leaving us with Rs 38.6 lacs. We would have to give a lavish party to everyone in a 5 star hotel which would reduce the expenditure further by 3.6 lacs so now we are left with only Rs 35 lacs. If we get a lottery of Rs 1 crore we will definitely go in for at least a Mercedes Benz 250 D model which is itself of 25 lacs. Now we are left with Rs 10 lacs only. If we do not go around the world with our family after winning Rs 1 crore what will the people say so that would finish our 10 Lac rupees and we are ‘Than Than Gopal’ now (Left with nothing) and back to square one. But to keep our self respect we will have to gift something to our near and dear ones, if to no one else but at least to our wife with an ornament worth about a lac . This is from our pocket and lot of other things also which we have not even catered for the unforeseen contingencies.
Harish further substantiated the statement by saying that the risk of our kidnapping by the goons would be in addition and carry unnecessary tension. So it will be a heavy loss rather than a gain. When the discussion finished . Harish shouted at the lottery seller in Punjabi;
“Too sada nuksaan karaan aaya hai ? Pajh jaa iththo di nahin te maar maar ke kookar bana davaanga” (You have come to put us to loss? Get lost from here or else I will hit you so hard that you will become a rooster)
The lottery seller did not speak a word and vanished in thin air. We proceeded to have two chicken Mc Grill burgers of Rs 50 each from the MacDonalds once again out of that Rs 100 with which we were planning to buy a lottery ticket worth Rs 2 crore because anything spent on yourself is never wasted.
A burger was thus of Rs 1 crore which we had that day with no tension involved in it . A wise decision which we took on that day indeed, of which we are proud of till date.

Shaking hands with the Prime Minister

SHAKING HANDS WITH THE PRIME MINISTER

It was at the high altitude area, Leh where I was posted in 2005. I was with my family hence did not feel the punch of being alone as the families were permitted at your own expense. We were staying in the area just near the famous ‘Shanti Stupa’, a Buddhist Temple popularly called as Gompa there. Since it was like Delhi of ladakh lot of tourists and VIPs visited the place quiet frequently.
There was one Central Lecture Hall (CLH) near the airport which was utilised for all the important occasions and speeches of VVIPs. It was thus well maintained but simple with the heating arrangements as no coolers were required there due to very low temperature. Even during the peak summers it did not exceed 20 degree Celsius which is what we have in plains during the winters. This was mostly used as a movie theatre for screening of films on the weekends. It had a huge stage in the front just below the big screen and seats down below in ascending heights towards the rear of the theatre. Outside the theatre was a large open space on both the sides and there were no plants as Leh is plain except some vegetation around the riversides in summers. A beautiful lounge was on the side of the theatre for the VVIPs and one behind for the others where arrangements for the central tea during lecture breaks were usually made.
It was late summers when the winter chill could be felt in the bones, the cold wind blew during the dawn and dusk which forced everyone to wear their jackets and proper winter clothing during that time. This time a visit of a very important VVIP was planned who was none other than Shri Manmohan Singh, the present Prime Minister of India. It was his first visit to this station in his first tenure as a PM so the preparations were also accordingly done.
All the important roads were resurfaced, the route was made spic and span, the buildings adjacent to the route from where he was supposed to visit various places were whitewashed, all the signposts were made new, some painted afresh, the stones on the sides of the road were whitewashed, welcome banners hanged at various places and all the basic minimum decorations done.


The day, 11Jun2005, finally arrived. It was morning of early winters. I started from my house early to be well before time at the CLH. As I reached there in my vehicle I could see many security staff busy in ensuring the safety aspects at the last moment as the Prime Minister’s plane was to arrive shortly within two hours. The vehicles were all lined up distantly from the main venue, the CLH and within about 15 minutes there were hundreds of them lined up as everyone was rushing up to be seated in advance. It was like holiday from office and everyone was preparing for the big show. The administrative personnel were busy checking out last minute layout of tea arrangements for the break, there were many tents decorated in the form of stalls where the various groups of people were standing under it to meet the PM when he was to come out after his speech to meet them. Every big shot like the senior army and police officials were looking like ordinary people like each of us and were moving here and there to ensure the security aspects for their career could be at stake if something went wrong. The signalmen were worried about the performance of their microphones, the engineers were on the tents and the stage which they had made, the mechanical engineers were on the generator; should the lights fail to cater it as standby, the medical team was ready for any emergency just in case and the doctor was time and again checking about the technical items from his assistant, the security officer had his eyes on the sentries located at various important positions which was being cross checked from his brain map he had made in his mind, the traffic police was busy guiding the vehicles and diverting the traffic from the route where the PM was to pass, the police dog team and the army dog team were on the move sniffing everything in their respective areas for any bombs wagging their tails as was also a good outing along with their professional work for them.
The location where we were was at a higher level and the airfield was clearly visible from there being lower . It was soon announced for everyone to close in as the time was getting ripe for his arrival. We could soon see AN 32, the a Russian aircraft along with the PM ‘s Boeing plane hovering over the skies and a few minutes later saw them land on the airfield, first the PM ‘s plane followed by the AN 32 in which others and his BMW car was aboard. They soon landed and siren was heard. By this time we were inside the hall and everyone was now silent. After a few minutes we could hear from a senior officer standing next to the entrance.
”Ladies and Gentlemen, the Prime Minister”
And everybody rose from his seat giving a loud noise of the closing in on the seats which is heard when you get up from your seat in a picture hall. As he arrived inside, the National Anthem was played and then he sat on the front seat facing the dais accompanied by his wife and other senior officers. Everything was timed with precision. It was followed by a short speech of the senior most officer of the city and the PM was ushered to the dais where he barely took 10 minutes to deliver his speech and was out of the hall to the VVIP lounge to meet the senior lot. By this time we all were out as we had started to exit the hall while he was in the VVIP lounge. He started to mix around with everyone from one side, first the place where the jawans were standing and had lined up in rows to meet their PM. The atmosphere was suitably relaxed as army was in full control of the situation although the black cats were always accompanied the PM as his body guards with the most modern weapons in their hands in ready to fire positions. The PM was cheerful meeting the men and everyone clustered near him till the garnish line beyond which they were not allowed to go but they were giving their hands to him for a touch to have his feel. He shook hands with many of them and there was continuous flashlight of the flashing cameras. Then he came to the next group where students were standing and shook hands with them. They all cheered him. It was then final mixing around with the ladies and officers where all the senior dignitaries were standing clustering around him. The PM’s wife was equally busy discussing and speaking a few sentences with the ladies as fast as she could as the time was short.
I was holding a digital camera in my hand hence could not take my own picture with him but snapped many photos of the people I knew. As he came towards my side there was a great rush and I could not reach him but could only raise my camera up in the air to have a top view of him. He came near me but I was quiet far off so gave up the idea that I will get a chance to shake hands with him and concentrated on my photography. The camera used to shake as I was finding it difficult to hold it at a place due to the rush which disturbed my focussing of camera by the rush. I then moved ahead at a place where he was to come next and meet the remaining of us. As he passed this time with a row of other officers in front of me I just raised my hand in the air and extended it towards him from the second row where I was standing .He smiled at me and caught my hand and held it tight.
It was the Prime Ministers hand in my hand or mine in his I do not know but those 20 seconds in my life I cannot forget as the strength I experienced in his hands was tremendous inspite of being such an aged person for he was never a farmer nor had done any physically hard job to the best of my knowledge in his life but his hand was a real knuckle grinder. During the time he was holding my hand I could see honesty dripping out of his eyes which is a very rare commodity found in the politicians of today, expressions of a contented man and simplicity like a common man giving a warm and welcoming gesture. He was conveying the assurance that the nation handed over to him will be looked after well as is in the right and strong hands so I as a citizen do not have to worry anything about it. The best and the most surprising part was that he did not leave my hand for such a long time and shook it vigorously as generally one leaves after 5 to 6 seconds of shaking the hands and for a PM who has to meet thousands like me every day the time was at premium. I had heard some critics calling him a weak PM but I would like to tell them now that they should first shake their hands with him and then give such comments as a weak person cannot have such a strong hand; only the strong willed person have such ones.(Kindly refer to the book on ‘Body language’ by Allan Pease). It was exhibiting firmness, honesty, transparency, brilliance, accessibility to the common man and substantiated by cheerfulness on his face all in one go. After he left my hand he met others but had left a deep impact on me, a real memorable one and I was one of the happiest man of the day.
Soon he waived his hand to everyone, boarded his BMW car and within minutes the whole motorcade vanished as he was to go to other places. I considered myself to be lucky to have shaken hands with the most powerful and honest person of the nation who transferred his blessings to me through it and the day which would always be remembered all my life.