Caught in the own trap(Humour in Uniform)

Caught in the own trap
It was 1988 when I was here doing my YOs course. I had a friend of mine Katara, who was slightly on a healthier side with a pot belly. Even in those days the use of helmets was compulsory even for the pillion rider and the checks were strictly carried out by the sentries detailed for the purpose who would not waste a second in noting down the names of defaulters for finally reporting to the Adm wing. As a result the defaulters had to wash their sins by digging the trenches in mother earth which would in the long run help them in remembering the shapes and sizes of 2 and 3 men fire trenches.
One fine evening my friend was returning after seeing some movie in the theatre with his friend who was driving the bike. Unfortunately he being the pillion rider was not wearing the helmet that day and thought that he would get away easily by ducking down behind his friend who was driving with a helmet. As they both reached the gate of CME they were stopped and the sentry came to them asking for the name of the pillion rider with a notebook in his hand after noting down the registration number of the bike. The thambi sentry asked ,Lt Katara,
“Sahib apka naam bataana”.
“Mera naam kisliye?” Asked Katara from the sentry while looking him with raised eyebrows from his spectacles.
“Sahib apney helmet nahin pehna hai isliye” replied the sentry.
“Arey main to civilian hoon. Helmet pehnna to fauji log ko jaroori hai” said Katara to convince the sentry.
“Nahin sahib aap to fauji hai” said the sentry confidently.
“Arey tu mera yeh pet nahin dekh raha hain. Kisee fauji officer ka aisay pet hota hai kya”? said Katara moving his hands on his pot belly and displaying it to the sentry to convince him that he is a civilian hence such rules are not applicable to him.
“Nahin sahib aap to fauji hain” the sentry continued arguing with him.
“Tere ko kaisey pata hai. Koi sabut hai kya?” Katara asked him slightly angrily.
“Sahib peechlay mahiney aapney humko pay distribute kiya tha” replied the sentry instantly.
Katara quietly told his name and they both zipped off from there without any further argument with him.

Duty Officer for the first time(Humour in Uniform)

I was thrilled when I was detailed as a duty officer for the first time in my life while doing the YO’ s course in 1988. Someone had told me that duty officer is the king of the day and has all the powers for checking anyone, anywhere and has a vehicle at his disposal.
I never had any idea of what and how it was to be done. I was told to report to the adjutant in the Adm wing and take a brief from him. As instructed I went to him with my course mate, DK who waited outside the Adjt’s office. The adjutant was very busy and hardly had any time to brief me so he at once told the runner to get two sets of empty duty officer forms and hand them over to me. He told me to follow the self explanatory directions in the form and to refer to the previous duty officer for details should I need any clarifications on it. Saying this he asked me to carry on. As I came out and glanced over the comprehensive form everything was crystal clear to me since all the details were well explained. Meanwhile the adjutant just before leaving the office gave me a password which was ‘Tota Mitti’.
Fortunately my friend DK was the previous duty officer who also finished his briefing to me in one line saying that we just have to check the sentries at various places written on the form and submit it back .
The next day at about 2330h in the night I went to check the guard duty in the quarter guard. I got down from the vehicle holding a diary in my hand with a pen clipped to my camo shirt. The sentry doing the guard duty in the qtr gd saw me and started to walk towards the gate for opening it. As I reached near the gate and took out my pen from the pocket to note down the details of the guard whom I expected would come and quietly give me his name and number so that I could proceed further for the next check at the QM store, he suddenly jumped two feet high in air pointing his rifle towards me with his finger on the trigger and shouted at the top of his voice
“Thum kaun aata hai!”
I got perplexed and both the diary and the pen slipped out of my hand on the ground with his thunderous unexpected voice shaking me from top to bottom.
Later coming to senses and gathering my courage I said,
“Arey bhai kya baat ho gai. Ghabraney ki koi baat nahin hai main bhi military mein hoon aur duty check karney aaya hoon. Shaayed tum mere ko koi galat aadmi samajh rahey ho. Tum pahle rifle ko to niche karo phir tassalli se baat kartey hain”.
“Pehchan ke liye aagey barh!” were the next sweet words which emanated from his mouth in full blast in the same position.
“Arey tumhare samney hi to khada hoon chalo bhai gussey mat ho lo mein aur pass aa jata hoon” I replied and started to walk towards him fearing that he may fire if I do not obey him.
“Thum!” came the next roaring voice out of his throat.
“Arey kabhi kehtey ho aagey barh aur ab keh rahey ho tham. Ab to theek se main deekh raha hoonga?
“Tota” he said in a very low voice as per the drill expecting the second part of the password from my mouth to reach his ear.
“Achcha password puchna chaahtey ho woh tota nahin balki ‘ Tota mitti’ hai” I replied.
He came to saavdhan with rifle barrel towards the sky and said in a loud voice,
“Jai Hind sahib” and then became absolutely normal.
I took a sigh of relief and asked him.
“Arey bhai aisee kya baat ho gayee thi ki tumne rifle meri aur taan di aur woh bhi Zameen se do feet upar uchal kar .Tumney to mere ko gari se utrtey huay bhi dekhaa tha phir yeh sab kyon?”
“Sahib yeh to drill hai kar ni parti hai nahin to duty officer sahib naraaj ho jaatey hai. ” he replied in a clear and crisp voice confidently.
Now things were amply clear to me and I realised the importance of briefing very early in life .
When DK heard of this he rather than apologising me for not explaining the procedure in detail was rolling on his bed trying to control his laughter.